Well good morning everyone....whewwww wheee what a morning it is! In fact I am typing this at 3 am from a 24 hrs Denny’s in San Antonio, TX LOL. Why you ask? Well cuz I am a NUT and I got the butt-crack earliest flight out of San Antonio so I’m home by 12:30 tomorrow to be with my family...cuz I’m that nice kinda mom KWIM ;) (and yes I fly to FL on Thursday for a week so I feel a tad guilty...that darn mom’s guilt stuff) So yes I have been up since yesterday at 7 am and YES I am tired but it didn’t make sense to check into a hotel for 3 hours, drive to San Antonio from Waco and catch my flight. Soooo I went to dinner with a group of lovely ladies last night from class and then got on the highway around midnight for the 3 hour drive to San Antonio and my friend Shelby told me of a Denny’s that was open 24 hours not far from the airport. That is where I currently am....they hooked me up with a quiet booth with a plug for my laptop away from the many drunks that are stumbling in once the bars have closed hee hee...oh boy what fun it is to watch them....like a free side show I tell ya! All I can say is I’m wayyyyy too old to be doing that kinda craziness....leave it to the other kinda crazies...but then I’m sure y’all are reading this and thinking I AM THE CRAZY ONE hahaha and I might agree with ya today. When I get home I have a project to work on and then I have eight 14 year old boys coming over for a sleepover for Riley’s belated birthday...umm yeah apparently Disney was not enough and he needs a sleepover too. Funny thing is that it was supposed to be last night...but hubby & son decided to switch it for the day I get home but of course with work to do and no sleep...so I should be really RIPE by 9 pm when I die and fall into bed! I threatened Riley that if I heard any weird noises drifting up from the basement tonight that I would ground his bum and send everyone home and he said “yes ma’am” LOL--so I don’t expect to have any issues (well I hope)!
So I know y’all want a travel story and let me start off by saying I WOULD LOVE TO NOT have one for you all....cuz I’m tired...and my body/brain needs a break from incidents (praying that my flight to Chicago is smooth & UNEVENTFUL). Well I have a doozy of a story for ya and I hope you all laugh cuz I did laugh but afterwards I SHOOK MY OWN head at myself. I’m pretty sure James is rethinking my decision to travel alone...yep I’m pretty sure he is LOL. My flight to Texas started out in Virginia at 7 am flying to Chicago first...I had the WORST migraine on the plane so midway I woke up to take a few Advil...3 to be exact and leaned back to go back to sleep. Woke up about 20 mins later feeling slightly “odd” (yes odder than usual lol) and woozy and knew something wasn’t right & figured I was either getting a bad migraine or a sinus infection. So I leaned down to take another Advil just in case...when to my HORROR I realized I had taken 3 Maximum Strength Benadryl instead...UH OH!!! Benadryl DRUGS ME...like woozy, stumbling, drool on my darn self kinda drug me...ok, not pretty at all. AND THEY HIT ME LIKE A BRICK OMG...I literally was like a drunk...slurring my words and stumbling. I stumbled up the gangplank to exit the plane in Chicago and I could barely walk people...I texted hubby to say “ummmm I think I mighta made an oopsie...a big one”...well he’s not really surprised much by me after 18 years so his response (in typical James form we call “James-isms”) “well ok, as long as you are somewhere safe you’ll be ok”. UMMM DID YOU HEAR ME...I AM DRUGGED and its NOT PRETTY...HELLLOOOOOOOOO!!! But I guess cuz’ I was in an “airport” that suddenly I was contained and safe to him LMBO...yep....not! Cuz Suzanne thought getting on the people movers to her next gate would be helpful....less walking right? RIGHT??? Umm yeah I put my small wheelie tote on the people mover & for whatever reason it made me dizzy and I lost my balance...I DID THE DARN SPLITS ON THE PEOPLE MOVER...it was NOT a good site (it was not sexy, hot or cool in ANY way ok). And I split my jeans open....where you ask? WELLLL right in my darn butt area....did I have clothes in my tote...of course not...that would never be my luck huh? And yeah I had red undies (clean ones though that did over my rear) on and my jacket DID not cover it...so I’m trying to get upright and the guy behind me is trying to help me and I KNOW he’s trying to NOT laugh and I’m like “no, no I GOT THIS” as I stumble off and try to arrange my jacket around my waist in a manner that didn’t look like I was trying to cover up something LOL. I get to the gate and sit down & the man next to me is chatty-cathy...wrong time bud ok--you have nooo idea who or what you are talking to right now! I think I slurred something like “immmmm soooo slorrry but I am berry heavibly medicated and am having sub bigggg isssueeesss”...he looked at me like he felt badly for me and hey at that point I felt badly for me toooo LOL and figured it was best to sit there and NOT move or talk until it was time to get on plane--so I pretended to be a statue & VERY interested in my phone although I was so medicated I'm sure drool was coming out as my head bobbed up & done...oy vey!! So I go and get on plane....oh yeah that was fun...Suzanne tripping on the plane and literally running my body down the wall of the gangplank so I didn’t fall...I looked REALLLY special at that point ;) I was lucky to get a window seat in the second row...two guys sit next to me and I’m trying to NOT make eye contact cuz I don’t wanna look like a drugged weirdo LOL. I cover up with my blankie and go to sleep...wake up halfway thru flight and feel “slightly” better, enough to form somewhat sane sentences. So I asked stewardess for 3 cokes...yep 3...trust me I really needed about 20 at that point & I musta looked like I did cuz she brought them quickly. The guys next to me start laughing & I’m like you have nooooo idea buddies so just shut up cuz I’m not in the mood. Ends up the guy next to me is a fighter pilot who had traveled home from a tour in Afghanistan and had been traveling 3 days (yeah made my travel journey not so sad huh). So we were chatting about the military and stuff and the guy on the end joined in. So we are all chatting having a GRAND time & the guy on the end asks me what I’m doing in San Antonio and blah blah blah....wants to know if I’m there for the Rodeo (I wish cuz I have always wanted to go). Turns out the guy on the end is Joe Nichols...yep the country singer...yep I didn’t recognize him...AT ALL and I yell “you liar...you are not”...yeah real good zinger Suzanne, geesh! And he pulls out his drivers license & sings a line of his song “Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off”...umm yeah appropriate song for a girl who has her undies hanging out of her darn pants LMBO!! But he was really nice and he signed my Country Weekly magazine which I JUST happened to have in my bag (no pants but darn it I have some magazines) and invited me to rodeo where he was singing today. DARN IT...if I didn’t have to be home I soooo woulda stayed an extra day to hang out...I mean of all the darn luck...split pants druggie sits next to Joe Nichols and can’t go to the rodeo...UGH...story of my life LOL! Needless to say we get to San Antonio just fine (via Houston) and then I rent a car to drive 3 hours to Waco...in the pouring rain on a Friday afternoon...yep thru Austin traffic. Took me 5 beautiful, oh so fabulous hours in bumper-to-bumper traffic...had to pee...was a tad hungry...and bum tired but darn it I got to Waco. Great class....great ladies (waving hi) who now all KNOW that I really am a total nut LOL but hope they had fun and I promise I will be back in Texas this year...albeit not drugged ;) And if you are near Waco stop at Emmalie’s fabulous store Crop Paper Scissors...you won’t be disappointed!!
So the moral of this delightful travel story....don’t take unlabeled meds that are same color as Advil...maybe don’t travel alone...don’t attempt moving things while drugged...always wear clean underwear that cover your rear & pack extra pants JUST IN CASE, cuz you NEVER know what could happen. AND ALWAYS, always talk to the people on the plane cuz you NEVER know who you could be sitting next to...yup that’s my way of traveling. Now here’s praying that while you are reading this...and visualizing it all (cuz I know you are, I hear you laughing so don’t think I don’t)...I’m asleep on a NON-eventful plane ride to Chicago & then on to home. NO drugs, clean underwear and non-ripped pants (and darn it yes I have an extra pair in my carry-on just in case) so I’m armed & prepared. Now I gotta start packing all the “just in case stuff” in my tote...as if its not heavy enough...I’m pretty sure there is NO tote bag big enough for “just in case stuff for suzanne”...yeah in fact I know there isn’t ;)
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